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GAYCHRIS.COM :)
LATEST UPDATE JULY 2009 BELOW:
TEARS
OF LOSS
PLEASE SCROLL DOWN TO JULY 2009 UPDATE
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THE SERENITY PRAYER!
GOD,
GRANT ME THE SERENITY, TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CAN
NOT CHANGE; THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN; AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
CLICK HERE TO VISIT THESOBERRAINBOW.COM
JULY 2009
SOMETIMES
LIFE REALLY HURTS!
I haven't updated my site since January, for that I apologize mostly to myself. This has been a very interesting
year so far. Sobriety has been a such a gift in my life. It has taught me how to handle life on life's terms.
A phrase one hears often in recovery, I finally understand it's true meaning. Why?
Well on July 14 of this year, I
got a phone call I will never forget as long as I live. It was my sister Patty calling me to tell me that my brother
Michael was found dead in his apartment. The powerlessness and horror in her voice echoes in my head.
I immediately jumped into my car
and in excess of 100 mph, I drove with the hope that I might be able to help to save my brother's life. In a matter
of minutes, as I arrived, I realized that I would not get that chance. My brother was gone.
I have only experienced death this
close to me when my young boyfriend William died in 2002. He drowned only weeks before we were planning on exchanging
vows. I was devastated. I was in hopes that I would not have to experience such devastation for a long time. Unfortunately
that was not the case.
My brother Mike was an amazing person. He loved to dive, fish, and had a love for nature. He
touched so many lives in so many different ways. He influenced many and taught many more how to appreciate the ocean,
the coral reefs, and the love of nature's pets like snakes, lizards, sea turtles, parrots, and even some bugs.
I feel at times so helpless with
this loss. My career was for many years in Psychiatric Medicine. It breaks my heart that I could not help my brother
pull out of his darkness. It's really pains me to remember all the lives I have been able to help and sometimes save,
and I could not save my own baby brother.
I hurt. I hurt alot, as does my family. My sister's and parents alike. The pain
is overwhelming. I know that my brother is at peace. I know that his spirit lingers in a way as to help us move
through this transition. I understand all of those things, but it does not remove that knot in my stomach.
My car broke down today. As
I sat for 2 hours waiting for the car to be repaired, I broke down hysterically, alone, for the very first time since his
death. It helped to release something within myself. It began to untie that knot.
I love you Michael. You know
that to be true. We miss you as our family member. We miss you as son, brother, nephew, cousin, and uncle. Your
memorial service filled St. Helen's church. An amazing turn out. I am sure you were amazed and shocked by the
number of people that you brought smile, laughter, and love.
Your memory lives on little brother.
From the words of Ho Oponopono:
Im Sorry Please forgive me I love you, and thank you!
Love Chris
January 7, 2009
An Amazing thing happened early this morning, I had my one year birthday in SOBRIETY! I never
thought in my life I could say that I was proud of myself and really feel it inside. Sobriety is an amazing thing.
It's more than just not drinking or doing hard core drugs; it's what has happened inside of me! I never knew how little
I felt or thought of myself. I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. A scared, frightened person
who on the outside acted like he was the shit.
Well its different now. I am a more humble, spiritually connected, loving, caring person who
can actually say that he has feelings of joy and self love. The gifts that sobriety has brought me is amazing.
I have gone from being homeless in Fort Lauderdale, walking in dirty clothes for days, with blisters
on my feet the size of silver dollars, and not a dime to eat; to a happy person who has gained not only the trust and respect
back from many, but more importantly I have found answers to questions about myself which had been buried for many years.
I have so many to thank for this part of my journey. I have recovered from Stage IV non hodkins
lymphoma, debilitating health, the grief and loss of a boyfriend who drowned, a suicide attempt, and the guilt and shame of
some pretty destructive behaviors. I owe my family, my life long friendships, a great healthcare team, my new fellowship,
and the 12 steps of Recovery for all the gifts I have recieved so far.
I hope one day that I can help give to all those and more who have helped me.
If you know a person who needs help with addiction. Please contact me at thesoberrainbow@aol.com or call me at the number on my web page.
Love, Faith, and Miracles!
Christopher
I hope one day I can help someone as many have helped me.
OCTOBER 4TH, 2008
WELL HELLO EVERYONE :) IT'S BEEN ALITTLE BIT SO ITS TIME FOR A LITTLE UPDATE.
WELL MY SOBER JOURNEY IS GOING AMAZINGLY WELL. THIS MONTH I BEGIN MY 10TH MONTH OF BEING CLEAN FROM DRUGS AND MY
15 MONTH OF NO DRINKING! SOME OF THE AMAZING GIFTS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IS THAT AS OF YESTERDAY, MY NURSING LICENSE
HAS BEEN REINSTATED. IT SURE IS A SURREAL THING FOR SURE. I WAS READY TO JUST GIVE IT UP ONCE AND FOR ALL.
GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS FOR SURE.
MY FAMILY IS DOING GREAT. MY SISTER JEAN HAS BEEN NOMINATED FOR SONGWRITER OF THE YEAR . THIS IS A FABULOUS
THING FOR SURE. SHE SURE SHOULD WIN. HOPE U CHECK OUT HERE WEB SITE. IF YOU LIKE YOU CAN SEE HER SING ON
YOU TUBE WITH THIS LINK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxvXw3KJX7w
I CONTINUE TO TAKE THINGS A DAY AT A TIME, AND IT REALLY DOES WORK. NO STRESS, NO ANXIETY. ALL THINGS JUST
ARE WORKING OUT.
I HAVE GREAT IDEAS FOR THE FUTURE. I WANT TO START TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO INCREASE MONIES TO THIS AREA FOR MORE
FOOD BANKS AND MORE SHELTER FOR HOMELSS. MAYBE DOWN THE ROAD OPEN UP A GAY HALF WAY HOUSE FOR THE TREASURE COAST.
HOPE TO HEAR FROM U, DROP ME A LINE: VEROBEACHCHRIS@AOL.COM
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July 2008
WELL HELLO AGAIN!
As my journey continues.. so do the days of our lives!
July we celebrated my parents birthdays. Thank God that all is well. Mom and Dad are both
doing well. Jean (http://myspace.com/sleepindogz/) has been performing a lot in Tampa as well as Stuart, Vero Beach, and the Surrounding areas. She and Leo have
toured to date New York and Nashville. Im so proud of her. Just waiting for that important path to cross hers
to futher launch her career!
I am sober now going on almost 7 months. This time It's a keeper. I had voluntarily enrolled
in a wonderful I.O.P (intensive outpatient therapy) to make sure that I continue my inner journey in sobriety.
TheSoberRainbow@aol.com Our GAY AA meeting in Vero Beach is going very well.. We have been averagin 25 people each Thursday Night at UNITY
church in Vero. Please email us if you are interested in attending. AA is a group of persons who desire not to
drink.
My time at the Southern Comfort Grill has expired. I wish the restaurant great success. Nick
and Barb are wonderful people and the food and atmosphere is great. Look for their review in the coming Hometown News.
Health wise.. all is FABU. No more Cancer or Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. Feel free to contact
me if you need some support if you or a loved one is going through something of that nature.
I am also now a Prayer Chaplain at the Unity Church in Vero Beach. The studdies included 40 hours
of intense training. We ended our last class at Unity on the Bay in Miami. If you are looking for a spiritual
church. Check out the churches web page, http://unityofvero.com
My book, It only Takes One is now completed and fully edited. My journey for the publication of
that book continues. A personal thanks with deep love I send to my friend Cynthia Sommer-Manella for the time she took
to read and fully edit my project. I love you Cynthia! If you would like to read please email me at gaychris@gaychris.com as I would be more than happy to send u a copy. So thats the news for now.
May the Divine Love in You, bring to you strengh, courage, and an abundance of love and prosperity!
Christopher
April Update:
I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN FOREVER SINCE I UPDATED MY SITE. I AM SO SORRY.. LIFE
HAS BEEN QUITE A JOURNEY!
AMAZING THINGS HAVE BEGUN IN MY LIFE.
I HAVE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH MANY PEOPLE OF MY PAST. IT'S ALMOST AS IF MY LIFE IS COMING FULL CIRCLE. OLD BOYFRIENDS,
SOME ALIVE, SOME DEAD IN SOME WAY I HAVE BEEN IN THOUGHT OF THEM.
MY BOOK, IT ONLY TAKES ONE IS IN ITS
FINAL PHASE OF DEVELOPMENT. THIS EXCITES ME FOR SURE. MY DREAM OF ITS PUBLISHING IS GOING TO BECOME A REALITY
VERY SOON. FOR THOSE WHO ARE INTERESTED I DO HAVE A SPECIAL LINK FOR YOU IF YOU CARE TO READ THE FINAL VERSION.
I CONTINUE TO FEEL GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE
THINGS AND PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.
I CONTINUE TO BE CLEAN AND SOBER AND
THIS HAD BROUGHT AMAZING GIFTS. MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY CONTINUES TO UNVEAL ITSELF. MY NEXT TURN ON THIS ROAD IS
COMPLETING A PRAYER CHAPLAIN TRAINING CLASS. YES.. I WILL BE A PRAYER MINISTER FOR UNITY CHURCH BY JUNE OF THIS
YEAR.
SOBER RAINBOW IN VERO BEACH IS OUR
AMAZING GAY RECOVERY MEETING FOR THIS AREA. THEY SAID IT COULDNT BE DONE! COME MEET WITH US AT UNITY CHURCH ON
THURSDAY NIGHTS AT 7:30PM - 8:00 PM.
MY HEALTH IS AMAZING! THAT'S
ANOTHER MIRACLE WITH THE DRUG ABUSE HISTORY, THE CANCER, THE LYHMPHOMA, AND I AM IN GREAT SHAPE.
WELL THATS A BIT OF THE NEWS!
THANK U FOR READING !
LOVE CHRISTOPHER! |
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