(my thoughts, my dreams, and some of my nightmares...)
Welcome to my Journal! This excerpt started back when I was undergoing serious medical problems, chemo from lymphoma and the list of ailments associated with that. Now that I am in remission and all seems to be going well. I have decided to keep in touch via this Journal. Sharing my life's hardships with the rest of the world by the internet has helped me very much. It has also inspired others so I continue to write and thank you for visiting.
Ya think in this world that you live forever, we get all caught up in the day to day about girlfriends, and boyfriends, or sports, or hobbies.... and then one day, we realize that life can have limits. We do take advantage of life and the wonders that the world has to give, by not taking a second to smell the roses, or hear the birds, or taste the water. Please, do all of those, and take a second to realize all that you do have, cause ya never know what lies behind that next turn!
Currently I am celebrating my 18th month in Remission, but what a roller coaster it has been. Especially in regards to my relationships... My last boyfriend died in a drowning accident, and the one before ended the relationship in the middle of chemo. Not fun, let me tell you.
Below is my Journal
and or Weekly Entries, hope you enjoy. Just to share some of the
shit I have been through this last year!
"Two Hands As One"
Michele, Margie, and Me at La Parma!
Click Here to see my VIDEO with Fast Internet Access Click here for Slower Internet Access .
Going to be moving soon. Buying a new house
in Vero Beach. Guess I'm going to be puting down some roots again.
Not sure if I like that, but I guess it's time to move on with my life.
My family is doing great. The trip to NY was wonderful.
Ate like a pig as always, had a great night with Michele and Margie at
La Parma Restaurant. That place has the best Linguini and Clam sauce
in the world. Well, it's so great that you stopped by and read a
bit more of my life's crapola. It's people like you that make this
whole project worth doing. Thank you again for being compassionate
and caring, and for those of you who still give me the encouragement to
go on, I LOVE YOU!!!! Christopher
Tim and I on Bourbon Street
Key West's Soutnern Most Point of USA
Just got in from Key West, what a month. First a few days in New Orleans with Tim, and then off to Key West with Jose. We had a wonderful time together. Talked about some of the nightmares we both shared last year, and how it changed our lives. Overall it was a wonderful time. Of course I figured out a great way to save 75% on the room, and we did it five star at the Wyndam Casa Marina. We had a fabulous ocean view room with balcony. Went on the wave runners, lots of margaritas and pina coladas at the beach, and had fun doing the night club thing.
Was putting the final touches on my book, and after 3 hours of revisions my damn lap top crashed, ugh. Thank goodness I had it saved on Disk, but that really pissed me off! Next step though is finding a good editor, I have one in mind, and she has offered to read my manuscript. It's really been quite an experience putting my thoughts and experiences in writing, a bit more than what this journal has been. I'm really excited about it, and each time I reread my writings I learn a bit more about myself and the people in my life.
Well.... thats the update.... Stay cool, it's getting hot out there.. ME
May 6, 2002
First off the bat, Deborah is having more surgery. Seems the implants have to come out :( Keep her in your thoughts again. I know she is going to get through all this shit, she just needs to keep up the strength.
Detachment from pain can offer constructive moments of reflection. Now that the pain is not so severe when I think about Costa Rica, I can now enjoy the happy memories from that time. It's a good thing, and quite amazing that now I can talk about William and my friends in Costa Rica and not have to feel so burdened by the pain. I guess I have moved on, and I am so glad about that.
My ex boyfriend Jose came up to visit this past weekend. It was a wondeful time, I think for both of us. So nice to be able to feel again. Not sure if that is going to go anywhere, but the mere fact that Jose is back in my life in some capacity makes me happy. He is such a great person. I konw what he had to deal with when I was sick was overwhelming, and maybe now he can get to know the Chris I am; not the Sick Chris I was!
Other than that? Things here are going ok. Pretty calm the last few days, ever since I talked to the medium. Mom and Dad are on a 10 day cruise, and my sister and I have been watching the house. Lately I've been working hard on my book. Those who I have shared it with so far have all said good things about what they have read. It's pretty strange putting my past experiences in writing. It just opens the door to a lot of memories that I thought I had forgotten. I'm not sure, but this autobiography might one day be published. Who knows???
Well, Cudos to all, and happy moments and peace!
May 1, 2002
Well Hello Dolly's!!! Oh my God I am still hung over from New Orleans!! (BURP) What a great time we both had! We arrived on Thursday 25th in the evening, and I don't think we slept much until we got back on Monday 29th. The hotel we stayed at was in the French Quarter, (french quarter suites) what a nice place it was too. The help was so friendly and courteous. We were very impressed by the hospitality. We went for Jazz Fest weekend, but didn't get to the fest since we were too drunk to sit in the hot sun. And yes, it was hot as a dickens. Hotter than Florida that weekend. Met some very nice people there too. It was so nice to meet Lawrence the bartender at bourbon pub and his boyfriend. I sat on that barstool for hours and chatted with him. The bars there were a lot different than Florida. Very small, with a lot of back rooms. I was actually a good boy and stayed out of those places, can you believe that? I must be nuts. Well it was a fun time. Tim and I got along great, it was the first trip the two of us went on together alone since key west over 20 years ago for Tim's 21st Birthday.
Other than the trip, things are going well. I am feeling good, kinda getting over the trauma from Costa Rica. Ever since William's death, I have actually felt as though he spirit had been lingering. Things were getting so strange that I actually consulted with a psychic/medium to help me explain what was happening. I have to take a moment and thank Jason Oliver (jasonoliver.com) for the fabulous reading he gave me. It was so wonderful and so amazing. He has helped with William's passing, and with my grief. This guy was the real stuff.. So if you need a reading, visit his web site and tell him that I recommended you! I found out that William needed my forgiveness. Needed me to forgive him for hurting me so badly, and for letting me down. So, I told the fucker (my love), I forgive you, I love you, I miss you, Te Amo, and please "step into the light" just like Carol Ann! Of course I was a bit less crass than that, but that's the just of it. No more crazy things have happened since. I hope that chapter is now closed in my life and I can get started on the future, whatever that may be.
Mom and Dad are going on a cruise for their 43rd anniversary.
So, I think we might have to have a big party while they are gone.
If you'd like to come, just email me :) firstname.lastname@example.org
Hi and bon voyage to my friends Frank and Tracy for they are going to visit Paris next week for 2 weeks. I wish I was going with them to see the Baron and Fabien.
Well, that's the scoop for now. Ill be updating soon. My book, It Only Takes One, is coming along pretty well, so much to write about, but it's a direction, that's for sure.
April 25, 2002
Hello again! Just finished packing and getting ready to leave tomorrow for New Orleans with Tim. Tim is my best friend of 20 years. The last time he and I went on a trip was for his 21st birthday when we went to Key West. What a trip that was! I remember trying to surprise Tim on the morning of his birthday with a bagel and a candle with a hotel room full of strangers singing happy birthday, and Timmy woke up and threw us all out of the room. He then preceded to ream my ass out telling me I was an asshole because his hair was a mess and he looked like shit. Trust me, there will be no surprise candle this birthday for him.
I got a very nice email from a girl named Laurie today from Princeton. Laurie has been going through some major shit too over the last few months. I want to thank her for her wonderful email and to say to hang in there. Sometimes it takes awhile before the good begins again. I promise it will get better.. even if it gets worse before it gets better. I think at this point if I can still be optimistic about this life, I think that almost anyone can. Not being self centered because even as shitty as things have been for me the last few years, it certainly could be worse, but I just hope that anyone that reads these words can take a glimpse at what life is at this moment.
I told reminded my good friend Vicky today, after we ate dinner, to remember tommorrow morning when she sends the kids off to school just how short life can be. Hug that kid, and tell your mom or dad you love them, cause that cliche that "life is short" or "you never know when your number is up" is so true. This life, is about Love, Lessons, sometimes Pain, but always tests of your strengths. Those tests always include the things that are dearest and mean the most to you. Try to rememeber that, I know it's easy to forget.
Ciao For Now!!!
See ya after New Orleans!
April 22, 2002
Well it's been a month since William died. In fact, this past weekend had a few landmarks. The 20th would have been his birthday, the 21st was one month since the drowning, and tommorrow is one month since the funeral. It's been tough, and a real test of my endurance, but with lot's of retrospective thinking, and lots of talking to family and friends, I'm makin it. Thanks again for your thoughts.
On a lighter note. This Thursday my friend Tim and I are going to celebrate our birthdays a bit eary at Jazz fest in "New Orleans". Should be a great time, looking foward to finally getting to visit a place I have not seen before. I hear it's a lot of fun, and I can sure use the uplift at this moment.
I've been working on my book! Yes, it's true,
all that talk over all those years about writing a book and it's started
and actually in process. The name of the book at the moment
is "It Only Takes One". It's an autobiography of my life's
adventures, from past to present. My fight for my life, struggles
with identity, philosophies on life, and the relationships with my friends,
relatives, and strangers. Lot's of dsyfunction, stories, and
emotions in this book. Ironically, it's going quite well.
I thank those of you that have read it so far and given me your wonderful
I am trying not to leave too much out.... Many will be mentioned in this book, and it will be a very eye opening experience. There are many experiences in my life that I don't even talk about that I am addressing in the book. There will even be a few people I am sure that it may piss off.
So.... that's the scoop for now. I send best wishes to Krista and her students in their upcoming performance of Oklahoma. I send warm thoughts and thanks to my friends James, Litho, David, Luis, Manuel, Frank, Michele, Scott and Mark, Tim and Gary, Debra, Stacey, Howard and Matt, Jose, Robin, Paul Castro, and and my famly; all of which were so kind, and caring in their thoughts and actions during my Costa Rican crisis. Thanks also to many of my cousins, aunts, and uncles for their kindness and compassion.
And for those of you that I did not mention, whom sent your words or kind thoughts, thanks to you as well.
April 18, 2002
We'll yesterday I made it to my therapist appointment. What an emotional undertaking that was. I made it through the entire Costa Rica William drowning story without a tear. I actually couln't believe it. Then, as I started to listen to the silence in the room, and began to analyze how much sadness I have experienced this last few years, I lost it! It's so difficult at times, I gotta say. So many loses in the last 2 years, including one of my best friends, who has decided our friendship wasn't worth a shit anymore. All the heartbreak has been overwhelming, Break up with Jose, Paul moving to Boston, the lymphoma battle, William's death, my cousin's drinking, my sister's divorce, the list goes on and on. I still try to just take life a day at a time, and remain as positive as one can be.
The scariest thing about my session yesterday with my therapist, was that I can see how some of my patients reach the breaking point. I can see that in this moment, there is the possiblity of "cracking" and having a break down. What a reality this has been.
Well, if ya ever need a person to compare your shit to, just give me a call. You'll definitely see you haven't had it as bad as you might think you have.
Another thought! My friend Debra is having a helluva time emotionally right now. Mostly due to the draining physical fight she has had to endure. Say a prayer for her to be strong, as I know that she will prevail... all she needs is a bit more confidence in herself. I see her getting stronger everyday, but unfortunately, she will be the last to see it. Cause that's how it works, we are always the last to see the improvement in our lives.
LOVE YA ALL>>> BUNCHES AND BUNCHES
PS... Saturday, April 20th, is William's Birthday, it will be my last goodbye as I am going to the beach to have my own personal memorial for him. It would have been the day that he wanted us to share vows, so I think it will be appropriate.
April 15, 2002
Sorry it's been so long since I did an update. But it's been very difficult since the loss of William in Costa Rica. I find myself thinking a lot about that whole time down there, it was some of the best of times and some of the worst of times.
My best friend Tim and I have been thinking on how to celebrate our birthdays. Thoughts of Las Vegas, Atlanta, Key West, New Orleans, or even Costa Rica. Tim's never been and I think he would have a great time. I've also been debating about what to do next in this life of mine. Returning to San Jose and visiting some of my friends there, or maybe going back to work as I seem to be getting a bit brain dead. I'm hoping for some direction.
I've started on an antidepressant this week. I think that's probably going to be a good thing as I have been very focused on the negative lately and not the positive. I certainly don't want to be accused of being a hypocrite by those who's thinking I have influenced. So, I'm taking some of my own advice which I tell my friends who are down ...and going to restart therapy and Celexa.
Tommorrow I think I'm going to start back at the gym and work on being beautful again! :0 Work that body, work that body. Just call me Mr. Macho...
The family is doing well, everyone is healthy. My Aunt Helen, Sister Regina Catherine, is down visiting Vero Beach for the month.. so it's nice to have a visitor here at the house.
Well... Talk to you soon... ME
April 2, 2002
A LONG ASS ENTRY! ( I MUST BE DEPRESSED)
Have you made a difference? Interesting way to start an entry? Well? Have you? Have you made a difference in someone's life in this world. Think back, has anyone in your life ever told you that you actually made them think twice or somehow influenced the way they might do something? Well, I can shout it out loud that I have made a difference. At least that's what I've been told. It's an amazing thing when someone you haven't heard from in a long time tells you that you influenced their life. I've been lucky to hear those words a few times. Even recently from a guy who once was hospitalized for trying to commit suicide, who is now proudly a rescue worker in Connecticut, saving lives.
I bet you have heard it too! Think hard. I bet if you think hard enough you will see that someone appreciates you, that you have made a difference in someone's life. Whether you bought them a candle or a flower, sent them a stupid email, gave a big hug when needed, or just made a joke at the right time which put a smile on their face. Im sure you have made a difference. That difference that you made is going to influence someone you might not ever meet. It's love in motion, a perpetuation, and it's the true meaning behind life.
When I get down and depressed, I think of what I have, not what I don't have, and I think of who has appreciated me for who I am. I remember that I have made a difference, and I become content with the life I have lead. Cause if I were to die tommorrow, I know that I have tried to make a difference in the way someone else see's life. Are you content? If not, then do something about it!
This month is my first Anniversary of being cancer free. Oh yes, that's right, one whole damn year has flown by. And in that year I can say that I have been lucky, very lucky to have been loved by some pretty wonderful people. Of course my family to start, and the very close friends that I do have, but oddly enough loved by some pretty neat strangers. Whether it be cute guys in a third world country of Costa Rica, some new best friend down the street, or some ex-boyfriend that live in another state, I can say proudly that I have been loved. Have you?
If you are reading my words then you can be sure, you have been loved too! By who? Well by me of course! Sure, I know there are a few of you that read my words who I never hear from. And that's' fine, a wink of my eye to you. There are also many of you that do write and wish me well and give me confidence to continue the strength to live; a wink and a kiss to you. And then there is that one person out there, that might be reading my words for he first time and might say, WHOLLY SHIT, this guy has just given me a reason not to give up! And to you I give a KISS on each cheek, a hug, and a great slap on the ASS cause now you understand what this thing called life is really about.
So, since I am probably not making much sense at this moment I will stop and say! Thank you for being who you are, Thank you for sharing yourself with someone who needs to be comforted, thank you for understanding the journey I have been on, thank you for having the courage to live and the courage to hug someone you don't even know.
Life is great... it's short, and it's precious! Please try to enjoy it while you can. In an instant it can be ripped away, as did my boyfriend William. One thing I can say about william, he lived every minute to the fullest, and that guy was loved by someone the day he died. Please be loved and maybe love someone before you die. Cause one day, you and I will be no more!
THANKS FOR THE VISIT!! (the long ass entry has ended)
March 29, 2002
Life can be so crappie at times. Just when you think you are back on top, and that the worst of things are over, you get another blow to test your endurance. They say that God only gives you as much as you can handle... but damn it, I wish he wouldn't have so much faith in me. My boyfriend William Gambora Argedas died on 3/21/2002 at 2:30 pm. He was swimming in Costa Rica, at Manuel Antonio, and the undertow took him into the sea. His body was found the next morning at 9:30 am.
I just got back from Costa Rica, and usually I have such fun stories to report. Unfortunately, this time was to bury my Tico Boyfriend. William was young, but the guy was full of potential, fun, and love. We had such wonderful times together. Lots of laughs, and even tears when the time came for me to leave. One night, amongst many tears, Willie begged me not to leave. I had to come home for a Cat scan and promised return for his birthday on April 20. After we cried, I told William, when you are sad and missing me, look at the moon.... and when I am sad and missing you, I will look at the moon too! And I bet that many nights we will be looking at the moon at the same time. He cried more, but then kissed me and said, "te amo" (I love you).
The night that William was missing, I went outside to pray, and to find the moon! I needed to see the moon to feel close to William. There was no moon on that night that I could find. There had been the night before, but on April 21st, nothing. The next morning at 10 am I received a phone call. They found his body on the rocks at the beach in Quepos. I went outside to smoke a cigarette and cry.... and at 10 AM... directly above me... there was a full moon, in the broad of day light. The tears fell rapidly down my cheek.
I immediately booked a flight to San Jose and barely made the funeral. It was one of the hardest moments in my life. Such a talented beautiful boy, taken at such a young age. He was a professional transformista.... (drag queen) and let me tell you. This boy had just won a major contest and was going to be representing DeJa Vu (Major gay bar) in the Tranformista of the year pageant. I believe he would have won. You can see for yourself how beautiful he was.
I will miss you William, and I do understand his words from a song by La Ley, "Sin Dolor no te Haces Feliz"... Without pain, there is no happiness.... "Tu Lengua mi amor, y recuerdas...Yo Miro a la Luna para ti!"
And One Final thing: On my flight back from the
funeral.... in the airplane at dusk, I saw the sunset out my left hand
window, and a full moon out the right hand window. To me, this was
a sign from William that his is there, and thinking of us. Behold
the moment captured on film.
March 22, 2002
I got some horrible news today.. I received a phone call that my new "boyfriend" has drowned at the beach in costa rica. He's missing and this morning the coast guard is looking for him. I am praying that he is a live and just missing. Please take a moment to pray for him. This is horrible...I cant believe that this is happening to me with all that has gone on this last 2 years. God please pray for William.... and if you have taken him.. Pray for his soul.
William and Me in february!
March 21, 2002 PM
James from Colours called me and told me that he heard
from an unreliable source that William is missing at the beach and he may
have drowned. I'm praying that William has strayed and that
he just didnt tell anyone. I'm hoping this is all a nightmare, and
that by tommorrow some good answers will come. I've spent the night
calling and Emailing anyone possible to see if the rumours are true and
in fact there was a drowning at the beach.. I'm a FUCKING
March 21, 2002
So what's the scoop? How you been? Good to see you again! Just got in from Long Island New York, and Jesus it was so cold there. Not only was it 27 degrees..but it snowed. Very yuk indeed. Crappy enough for myself to catch an upper respiratory infection, but nothing major.. Just enuf to make me feel crappie. I think I'm going to go back to Costa Rica again, maybe get an apartment for the month instead of wasting all of the parental moneys on hotels. Have some frequent flyer miles I need to get rid of... and what the heck.. not much going on here. I have a few more months until I feel confident I am in the clear medically and not have to worry about relapse. April will be my 1 year anniversary, and guess what? I don't want to be here to celebrate.. Can ya blame me? So... I also have an invitation to come to Paris France, kinda scary for me.. I am thinking about it. Would love to see Baron Paul and Fabian in Gay Paris... Met them in San Jose this year... and had a wonderful time. If ya ever get a chance to meet up with them, they are 2 of the nicest persons you will ever meet.
Still feel as though I am in Limbo.. but it's a good limbo I suppose.. not a bad limbo. I have thought about just staying put and doing more volunteer work.. but it's hard for me to stand still with all the doctor's appointments, and jaunts to here and there. I think this time I go anywhere, Im going to work some more on my book. Lord knows. it's been since 9/11 since I picked up the lap top and typed.
Congratulations to my friend Frank and his reconciliation with Tracy. I knew it would be... hopefully they will hang in there this time. And Debra is doing well.. few bumps in the road here and there.. but I know she is going to prevail. I told her it wasn't going to be easy, but would be doable.
Love to you all... Friends, Family, and the occasional new visitor!
March 4, 2002
Howdy!!! Good to see your fabulous eyes again! That's right.. I can see you when you read this stuff... and I feel ya in my heart. So, if you're here, you're wanting some serious scoop on what's up with me and my life en this moment. Well, as you might know already, I was in Costa Rica for a month, and after a month, I fell for a 20 year old boy who just stole the ole heart away. I know I know, I'm stupid... I've heard it from everyone, but Im trying to reevaluate things and say, It ain't going no where.... so, go back again and put closure on it now! So, I'm leaving on Wednesday. I probably wouldn't go back this soon, but William was in a car accident and was hurt a bit, nothing serious, but nurse Chris to the Rescue.
My family is doing good.. My sister Jean filed for her divorce, It's been really hard for her, after all it would be easier if her future ex was a jerk... but he is not. He's a very nice guy! I wish them all the love in my heart to mend. I love you Jean!
Mom and Dad are great... My good friend Stacey is having some trouble with Post Pardum depression. You guys were so great writing to Debra, Im gonna ask you to maybe write to Stacey this time. Her Email Address is Staceha@aol.com, a quick click on the link and Im sure it might help. Love you!
Debra's update: Well, seems there's a bit of rejection going on with the reconstructive surgery! So poor Debra is hanging on by a shred to keep her sanity! She will be fine, as I've said from the start of it all... but maybe if ya have time.. another hang in there would be great. Just Remember DEB.... YOU DON'T HAVE CANCER!!!! YIPPEE!.... Love ya. Email her at DistantDr@aol.com
As for my Health??? Well, Blood work last week was great! Have a check up tomorrow, and I think I'm due for a CAT scan in April. If negative that will celebrate my FIRST year in REMISSION!!! and Ironically ... this is the year of my 40th birthday.!!! ( don't tell anyone)
So, I'm doing ok! Think it's time to start some therapy again... maybe a new therapist cause I think between surviving the cancer, and the major break up with Jose, I'm ready to be institutionalized and diagnosed psychiatrically!~~ :) But... I cherish life more than ever!
Geez.. some update... well.. I wont be back for 2 weeks... cause after Costa, Im visiting Michele and Carly and the rest of the bunch in Commack. SO until then.. Keep smiling, stay sane..and if you get neurotic, there is always XANAX!! ! :)
FEBRUARY 20, 2002
My GOD, has it been a month already? Well, so much has happened... First off, I have to thank everyone of you who took the time to write to my friend Debra. She had her surgery and did well, a bit sore from all the hacking, I think the worst of it all was her falling asleep on a heating pad and getting burned. Well, not really, but it was a kicker to the whole event. I brought her back some of that spiritual healing holy water from Cartago, Costa Rica, and the minute she got it, she drank some. So whatever the outcome of the surgery biopsy, I am very confident, she will be fine. How can she loose, she's had wonderful support from all of you! The love and the energy is definitely something that heals. After all.. look at me!
A month in Costa Rica.. what an event that was. Almost getting arrested for not paying a cab fare, Having love spats with my adopted boyfriend, and watching all the drugs in that country.. OH MY!! But, on a great note, I did meet some very interesting and wonderful people including the Baron of France and his lover Fabio, William Gamboa (my fill in 20 yr old boy toy), and even some obnoxious Americans, but hey, it was all Good! It's amazing how quickly the time went, and now I am back in Vero Beach, just waiting for who knows what. Possibly a new trip to New York... or even a trip in the spring to see the Baron in Paris.
The bad thing about having such a wonderful time away, is that coming back is such culture shock that Im having withdrawls. I knew it would happen, but didn't think it would be this bad. I'm sure there is a wonderful adventure on the horizons.... GOD told me! :)
I guess the next thing to wonder about is getting back into the work force. Trying hard to get myself psyched...but it's hard ..that's for sure. I have so much to be thankful for.. but soon I have to decide where to live, what to do. Maybe Ill go back to school and do some computer stuff, who knows. Looking for a new door to open, but until it does... Keep tuned in! Love to you all.... and special hug to Debra.
JANUARY 20, 2002
Just got some Bad news that my good friend Debra is going to have to have a double massectomy. I am taking this moment out to say a prayer for my friend Deb and hope you can join me. She is such an uplifting person, and now I want her to believe that all the giving that she has done for people over the years, is gong to pay off, and be returned to her 10 fold. Her surgery is on February 7th in Palm Beach. Her email address is DistantDr@aol.com,. If you could click and send her a brief message telling her not to give up and to remain strong... the fear of Breast Cancer is overwhelming, just a quick note would be great...Maybe you can share a story of your own triumph over bad odds. .Just let her know she is in your prayers.. .please?? This is not a chain letter.. .Just an excerpt from my Diaries at gaychris.com
Unfortunately I will be out of the country during Deborah's surgery. Please if you read this update, take one moment and send a happy thought to my friend Deborah. A happy thought, a caring thought, a compassionate thought, is that same wonderful energy that creates miracles in people's lives and provides warmth in their heart!. And one day, just when you are down in the dumps and feel that life isn't worth much.... someone like me, or Deborah will be sending you our special thoughts to you, to help you get through the hardships that this world drops on us. Many people all over the world have read these words... I am a lucky guy that my words touch so many people. If my words have touched YOU, then I am grateful and feel so glad that my words touched your life, in some small way! It means I have made a difference. Now I would like my words to help make a difference in Deborah's outcome from this Mastectomy.
Please say A Prayer!
JANUARY 4, 2002
Well... the results
are in!!! CAT scan number (# Im losing track), NEGATIVE>>>>
ALL SYSTEMS GO!
Yep, that's right... still DaisyFresh and Clean! I remain in remission and continue to thank everyone.. God, my friends, even some of my "enemies"... they give me the Oomph to keep it going !! So, now comes the weird part... how to get back involved with life again. I have been doing some volunteer work for the Dr.'s office in Fort Pierce.. been doing some case management and chart review to help them out. It's been nice... but I need to find out when I can think bout going back to work full time. This traveling is getting a bit boring actually.. and expensive. Went out to Palm Beach this weekend.. went shopping with my new friend Bryan, we had a great time shopping at Armani, and doing lunch and dinner. Later that night we did go to a few of the bars.. but they weren't all that great. This coming weekend Queer as Folk is back! I certainly cant wait cause this along with Sopranos, Sex in the City, and Six Feet Under are my favorites. Queer as Folk is on Sundays on Shotime.
I have a favor to ask of you all... My friend Debra is facing some scary stuff right now with a biopsy coming up, and if you can fit a prayer or two in to help give her the strength and courage to face the next path... I would really appreciate it. She has been an Angel, and I know that with the energy and power behind everyone's prayers, and her courage and vigor, she will weather the Storm Just fine!!!
Think Im going to be returning to Costa Rica in a few
weeks. I have a free ticket to return on American Airlines,
and I wanna use it before they go belly up! Other than that,
all things are great.. I feel good.. Didn't even get the flu.. I am so
glad I got a flu shot this year.. HUGS
JANUARY 1, 2002
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Oh, My goodness, what a year it has been! From a crusie in the bahamas, to a hospital bed in Gainesville, Florida, to then travel around the country and to central America. It's been a trip! I've revisited some old boyfriends, met some new ones, and decided that being single, isn't the worse thing in life that could be. I am thankful that I am in Remission with my lymphoma and to date, I have had no signs of relapse. In fact, tomorrow morning, actually five hours from now, I will have another CAT scan to check and make sure that things are still "ducky". After this test comes back OK, my next step is to set out and fall in love again. Whether it be old love reborn, or new love, I'm ready to give of myself like I have never given before. That next guy is going to be some lucky person! :)
New Years Eve was quiet for me... after spending time in Orlando for a few days, I decided to stay home this weekend and be with my family. So at midnight I had a Dirty Martini and a glass of Champagne, with my family as we watched the ball in Times Square come down. The goose bumps did fly, as we all prayed nothing bad would happen.. and it didn't.
My prayers, thoughts, and love, is sent to you all that read my page. I wish you all the best in this New year. As it will bring it's ups and downs like every other year, I do suspect, it will be a far better year than the previous two! Keep smiling, even if you don't feel happy, and sooner or later you will be feeling better!!! PEACE! YOU GOOF BALLS!!!
DISNEY WORLD WITH PAUL
DECEMBER 28, 2001
On December 23rd, I went to Orlando to pick up my friend Paul from the airport... My Costa Rican Friend who now lives in Boston. He had never been to Disney, so, we did the Magic Kingdom and Pleasure Island. Had a great time. God a fabulous room at the Wyndham Palace for only 70 bucks a night... usually 300. It was great to see Paul again, and wonderful to have someone close on Christmas morning. That afternoon, we had another wonderful Ravioli dinner. It was awesome... But the visit was too quick. As Dec 26 I had to take Paul back to the airport.
I did manage to get to see my friend Cookie in Orlando. We chatted for hours and caught up on stuff...She is such a sweet person... I wish she'd move back to Vero.
Well.. only days now until 2002. I leave you with best wishes for the coming year... I hope and pray that this year is much better than 2001.
SANTA IN WALT DISNEY WORLD CHRISTMAS EVE
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